intentional listening

Listen (verb): 1. To give attention, attend closely for the purpose of hearing; 2. To pay attention, heed, obey; 3. To wait attentively for a sound.

The word listen is one we seemingly come into the world hearing. I repeat it throughout each day to my kids. Listen to my words. Listen for cars. Listen to your teacher. It’s an action we engage in subconsciously to get us through our daily lives.

But what happens when we stop listening subconsciously and start listening with mindfulness? Bringing awareness to the action of listening may bring additional insight into the speaker’s tone, intention, and unstated words. It may bring appreciation for the noises of nature. It may shed a light on how much static or white noise we are immersed in each day. Listening with intention may just let you hear what you’ve been missing.

Here are some delightfully simple methods anyone can use to become a more mindful listener:

Stop planning what you will say next: In conversation, be completely attentive to what is being said. Run it through your mind and listen for any ideas, implications, connotations, or tone shifts. What is the speaker really saying? What do they want you to hear? If your mind is clouded with your next conversation contribution, your mind is not open to listening.
Set an alarm: Schedule a reminder for yourself. When you hear it, stop what you are doing and take a few deep breathes. Close you eyes and listen to the world as it is in that moment. Listen to your breath, the room, the space around you. Is there a sound you want to hear more of? Move closer. Is there a noise that’s annoying? Address it or move away. Be aware of the noise around you, and create a space for yourself with sounds that you like.
Rephrase and Relay: When you are listening to someone, validating the message you are hearing can be the key to establishing trust and confidence. Tell the person, “What I’m hearing you say is…” or “Sounds like…” and rephrase what they shared, relaying back to them the message they just gave you. This simple action does several things. It sharpens your listening skills by making you pay attention to what is being said. It shows the speaker that you truly care about what they’re saying because you’re making sure you’ve heard them correctly. And it gives the speaker an opportunity to adjust their message if what you heard is not what they were trying to tell you. Win-win-win!
Meditate: Do you meditate? Take pause and absorb what your body is doing in this exact moment? What happens as the next moment blooms? What does your breath feel like in your chest, your gut, your nose? Listen to your breath, and pay attention to your environment. Without judgment or without an intention to change anything, simply notice what sounds are around you and what sounds your breath creates. Guided meditation can be fantastic. Abby Beth Carter has a 6-minute guided meditation video and audio that I really enjoy. Her voice is amazing. UCLA has a Mindful Awareness Research Center (!!!) and has guided meditations (5-20 minutes) available in both English and Spanish. You can also find a plethora of guided meditations on YouTube. Or, you can just sit and listen.

Do you listen with intention? When? Will you share your tips in the comments?

xxoo